Alright, it's the time of year that all second-year medical students love: time to panic about the USMLE Step 1 board exam. For those of you who were smart enough to stay out of the medical field (and are currently enjoying life), Step 1 is the dreaded 8+ hour exam that every second year medical student must pass in order to move on to their Junior Clerkship (3rd year). It's basically a huge standardized test covering everything (and then some) that you learned during your first 2 years of medical school. So I'm going to take it sometime in June and I get all of May to study for it. The problem is that my sympathetic nervous system is trying to convince me to start studying for it NOW which poses a few problems.
1) I'm still in school - I still have 2 courses left before I'm even supposed to start studying for Step 1. This means I have to learn this material and do well on it! Lately, as I've been studying my lectures for the GI course, I begin to sweat because I realize that I've forgotten a lot of stuff from the previous two years and I find myself abandoning my current studies for my First Aid USMLE study book.
2) I study on my study breaks - to try to remedy problem #1, I made a deal with myself that I could start reviewing USMLE materials during my study breaks. I tend to study 6-12 hours a day with 30 min-1 hour breaks every few hours. As soon as I take my break from studying my current GI lectures, I pick up one of my USMLE study materials and begin reviewing until it's time to return to my regularly scheduled studying.
3) Hives - I've been breaking out in hives at least once a week - and most recently, twice a week. I thought it was an allergic reaction, but I don't have any other symptoms and no new/different exposures to allergens (that I know of). My medical mentor, an allergist who is pretty familiar with my medical history, suggested that it's due to stress. Which is wonderful. There's nothing I can do to prevent these super itchy, swelling, edematous red blotches from appearing all over my face and neck at random times. Add my panic about the USMLE to the mix and you've got yourself a pretty scary looking person.
4) Crying about the USMLE - so I went to the doctor yesterday and I was kind of panicking because I wasn't studying (because I had this appointment) and she asked me how I was doing and I started sobbing and talking like a crazy person about how I'm going to fail the USMLE. You should have seen the look on her face. She calmed me down, but I'm pretty sure I weirded her out for the rest of the day.
5) The Remnants of My Social Life - I have friends. No, I really do. I just don't see them. Ever. And the likelihood of my seeing them anytime soon has greatly diminished because now if I have any free time, I want to spend it reviewing USMLE. And poor Boyfriend is trying his best to keep me sane. Everyday he asks me USMLE questions randomly. He finds me awesome resources for USMLE stuff. He's super supportive. So, when we are super old, I promise Boyfriend that I will change his colostomy bag. I PROMISE.
I'm just a hivey-ball of nervousness these days. Well, more-so than usual. Hopefully my sympathetic nervous system will calm the eff down soon and I regain some sense of normality in my life. Or I have a nervous break down and get to take a mandatory vacation.
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